Pain

In the past month or so Ricki's pain has kept getting progressively worse and we were so grateful when they decided to admit her this week. After admitting her One of the questions they keep asking is when did the pain start? .... I can't think of a time she hasn't been in pain for over 4 years... Before we even knew she had brain tumors  and NF2 she  complained of constant headaches and pain. 

Ricki has become a champion of living with constant pain and patiently seeks help to find relief. She has endured painful surgeries. She has tried many different medicines and had to endure their side effects. She has had to deal with doctors that tell her it's all in her head and people around her that think she is faking it... 

It has been a rough 24 hours that feels like it has been several days. They have been doing some infusions through an IV but she has had to endure 5 IV's (of which they have literally had to dig to find the vein) and the IVs keep going out. Tomorrow she will have a pic line put in so they can finish the infusions. 

We were having a sweet conversation that it was a fight for her life. We all recognize how extremely blessed she has been as she has gone through surgery after surgery. But, when you are in pain all the time and it keeps you home most of the time, and when you do go out you cant even enjoy it because you are in pain, there just isn't much  to get excited about. 

As we were wrapping up my "this is worth the fight" talk with Ricki I ask her to summarize where she wanted to be and of course she gave me a very typical Ricki response... She started singing a song from The Little Mermaid....

I want to be where the people are

I want to see

want to see 'em dancing

Walking around on those

Whadd'ya call 'em? oh- feet

Up where they walk

Up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wandering free

Wish I could be

Part of that world

.........